Well

No, I didn't wake up wanting to be mean to people, but people get upset for the stupidest things and all that's left they'll listen to, which I don't like to do, is cursing at them and losing yourd dignity.  The n word just came, and I was startled already that I got upset at others but Ellen is an exception cuz she's so famous and like a set person, supposedly nice, too.  I just knew someone would make a big deal of what I Was thinking.  I don't feel anyone but who was called something would deserve an apology.  This is rather undue to whoever's pestering me with noises.  I know it's my mom getting back and trying to ruin things again.  Ellen is trying to make sure things don't go well for me, too.  What?  I was out looking for a dress last night and didn't get much sleep.  I ended up not being actually outwardly bad at the appointment today nor before.  I just told my mom I wanted to drive and said waiting for the bus wasn't actually fun - the medicine makes it tiring.  The psychiatrist said we couldn't make it any higher, and my therapist wanted to.  There are other ways I can make myself not as tired.  I will have to find out if I can have it lowered.  I'm already trying to find out if I actually have this disorder.  You know, there are tests, like research.  It might require an extended stay.